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Welcome to the Internet of Terrifying Things

  • March 13, 2025
  • August Udoh
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Right, so we’ve all seen it coming—the Internet of Things, where every single device is online, from your thermostat to your toaster to your grandmothers pacemaker. Sounds convenient, doesn’t it? Except, of course, when you realize that means all of it can be hacked.

Think about that for a second. Every thermostat, every hospital machine, every traffic light—all connected. Which means some bloke in a basement in Belarus could, in theory, turn off every air conditioner in Arizona or reprogram all the red lights in London to stay red forever. Absolute carnage.

The Future is Smart (and Terrifying)

Back in the day, when something broke, you’d just give it a good whack or shake and hope for the best. Now? You’ve got to call tech support because your fridge has been compromised by ransomware.

We’re not just talking about your phone getting hacked anymore. We’re talking about:

  • Medical devices – Imagine getting a software update for your pacemaker that bricks it. Lovely.
  • Power plants – Because nothing says “good time” like waking up to find your entire city has had a blackout courtesy of a dodgy email attachment.
  • Self-driving cars – You think traffic’s bad now? Wait until every hacked Tesla in town decides to play a game of bumper cars.

The Problem? We’re in Too Deep

Now, you might be thinking, “Well, let’s just… not connect everything to the internet?” Ha! Good one. That ship has sailed, mate. You try telling a Silicon Valley exec that maybe, just maybe, we don’t need Bluetooth-enabled toilet seats. They’ll look at you like you’ve just kicked their dog.

The reality is, this is where we’re headed. Everything online, everything connected, and—if we’re being honest—none of it properly secured.

So What Happens Next?

At some point, we’re going to have a massive wake-up call. A cyberattack so disruptive, so catastrophic, that even your granddad—who still refuses to set up online banking—will have to admit, “Yeah, maybe we’ve taken this whole ‘Internet of Things’ thing a bit too far.”

Until then? We just have to hope the world’s hackers are too busy messing about with cryptocurrency to notice that your smart oven has no firewall.

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August Udoh

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